I like beer. I like bare breasts. Put them together while four men in their 50s cover all the butt-rock songs that were killed by the Seattle grunge bands, in a small Hollywood club with good friends on New Year’s Eve, and now we are talking about another night in the life of the Make a Death Wish Foundation!

I have always wanted to take the Sunset Strip History Lesson with Metal Skool at the Key Club on Monday nights. But since those sets actually start on Tuesday morning, I just can’t justify being hung over in my cubical a few hours later, just so I can hear a bunch of old men cover “Photograph” by Def Leppard. Fortunately, my fiancee realized we could ring in the New Year with the glam-metal parody band.

Dressed in tuxedos, the four-piece band hit the stage just before midnight, playing a song first made famous by that guy looking for love on VH1, the one not named Flava Flav. “Nothin But a Good Time” was the perfect pre-midnight opener. Within minutes, balloons were falling, random people were kissing, and more girls were getting naked.

Songs by Bon Jovi, Van Halen and Ratt followed. Known for their special guests, (just look up Metal Skool online and you will find videos of them with everyone from Kelly Clarkson to Mr. Belding from “Saved by the Bell”), the foursome were joined by comedian Hal Sparks last night for a few numbers. He did a Cinderella song that I know but can’t name. I am sure if you watch VH1 Classic long enough, you will see it. Heck, considering this musical genre, the special guest known for his commentaries on VH1 specials and the “Rock of Love” reference, maybe I should just see if there is a VH1 You R Here site for this review.

Metal Skool gave us all the hits and more, and continued to wish the sold-out crowd a “Happy 2003.” It really is like spending a few hours watching VH1 Classic. As someone who knows all the butt-rock hits, but finds the entire genre laughable, I think the thing that really stuck out about last night’s show was not so much the music, but the onstage banter that would make moe. proud. I don’t think I can legally repeat what they said here, but it was foul, crude, offensive and 100% accurate. Just know if you are a female and you get into a fight at Metal Skool, expect to walk funny for a week.

All in all, the group (drummer Stix Zadinia, guitarist Satchel, bassist Lexxi Foxxx and singer Michael Starr) are solid and sound musicians who have found a way to live the rock-and-roll lifestyle of the 1980s in the 21st century. Not only have they found a way to do this, they have done it using the music of others. In some ways, the members of Metal Skool have become bigger than the stars who recorded those songs in the first place. Most important, they have found a way to allow folks like me who missed the ’80s hair-metal wave to get just a taste of what it was like back in the day, a few blocks from the place I currently call home. So, if you find yourself in Hollywood on a Monday night, and you have already seen all the other local tourist traps, feel free to roll through the Key Club and get a glam-rock history review, courtesy of Metal Skool.

Check out all of makeadeathwish’s uploads at yourhere.mtv.com…